Neighbors III: Nosy Neighbors on the Eastern Front

Pregnant with their first baby, Eastern wife with hubby in tow was gifted with the house and lot next to mine which her mom won (the lot) from a mahjong game. She looked like a pregnant teen-ager. After four girls, she finally delivered an heir two years ago and had herself promptly ligated. That was also the time she started being nosy. She would criticize my front yard, house and gate when talking to neighbors but never to my face. In fact, I would see her almost every afternoon on schooldays and we would smile at one another. But no small talk about what she disliked about my residence.

When I had the time and money, I would hire the neighborhood kids to clean my yard and trim the plants and trees so they could have extra allowance for their classes the following week. Three groups of these people would report to me that Eastern wife would come inside my front yard and tell them to chop down this plant or kill this tree as if she owned my residence.

My home may not be much, aesthetics-wise. I had to make do with whatever materials my meager income and savings as a teacher could buy to renovate it. But I was able to plant an Ilang-ilang tree, Dame de noche, palmeras, to complement the sampaguita, guyabano and coconut trees. Later I was able to add Chinese bamboo which was uprooted to make way for a sidewalk downtown, kalachuchi, money trees, camias and fortune plants. Much later, a native guava plant grew from bird/bat droppings. Now a hammock hangs between it and the guyabano.

My home is my sanctuary. It has become my cocoon, my chrysalis. Everyday, I emerge from it bearing the dazzling colors of butterfly wings or the blinding dust of moth wings. Every afternoon, my weariness from the day's labor is lifted by the sweet scent of Ilang-ilang blossoms. As the sun rests, the perfume of the Dama de noche wafts through the air and permeates my home.

Of course, no sanctuary is perfect. From time to time, sieges would be staged against it. From the ground, termites would plunder my library and eat my books leaving only the plastic-covered covers untouched. From the air, the untended coconut tree of the northwest neighbor would bombard my roof with dry coco fruits and leaves dislodging the back gutter. From nowhere, thieves would jump over the front fence and ransack my house (once) and front patio (twice). From the east, the nosy wife and her consort would pester with complaints:

1) The leaves and branches of the Ilang-ilang clogged the rain gutter of their house. The gutter runs parallel to the perimeter wall which I had spent for to be put up between our properties. The house was constructed with a wide front lawn and a little space to hung the laundry at the back. The sunrise used to wake me up every morning. Eastern wife's mother decided to outdo my house in terms of construction materials and location. Aside from making my house look like a shabby shanty beside the mini-mansion (with basement to boot), the house was built with the perimeter walls as its walls, leaving no space at the sides and back (baaaad feng shui, that). This effectively blocked out the rising sun for me making it a necessity to turn on the lights early in the morning. Eastern wife's mother knew there was an Ilang-ilang tree near the perimeter wall, but pushed through with adding several layers of hollow blocks to serve as a wall for the mini-mansion. Anyway, I allowed them to cut the branches encroaching on their property which the tree-cutter proceeded to throw down onto my side. When the gutter was still clogged and having no more reason (branches and leaves) to blame, they hired a mason to knock down portions of the gutter on my side so that when it rained, the water would cascade down my property. It did not bother me at all because the sound of rain and falling water lulled me to sleep but I guessed the water seeped down and flooded their basement prompting them to rehire the mason to cement the knocked-down portions.

2. The Talisay outside my front fence was plagued by large spiny caterpillars (whose feathery spines would cause itches upon skin contact). Their girls were afraid to cross the street (the tree was far from the street) because of it. Could I permit them to have the branches cut? (Me hesitant: Yes). Since we already had the branches cut, could we cut down the tree? (Me exasperated: Sure, why not!) Results: their electrical connection was brought down by one branch. The thieves had no problem climbing the front fence portion which the tree used to block, raided my patio and took away the aquarium lights, aerators and my collection of Justice League action figures. My books were left unmolested!

Neighbors II

While I was googling about the topic of my previous blogpost, I heard the northern wife's father retching as usual. It went on for several minutes and then abruptly stopped. As I was finishing the said blogpost, I heard a commotion in the makeshift house as it was only a meter and a half from mine. Then I heard the northern wife crying and shouting loudly her father's name. Her cries was soon joined by the keening howls from the mentally-challenged daughter. Anak, patay na si Tatay Dodoy ninyo!

Obviously, the northern family found him sprawled dead near the kitchen where he usually heats water for a cup of instant coffee.

This is not the first time I was the last one to hear someone's last moments (although I would realize it moments or hours later). In 1992, while I was still adjusting to my new home, I was too revved up (after hours of arranging/rearranging things) to sleep and so to relax I read a book. At 3:00 in the morning, I heard a tricycle sputtering on the road in front of our subdivision and then the howling of a dog. This was followed by another dog and another until it seemed like the neighborhood dogs were on a howling roundelay.

Hours later, as I was watering the plants outside my fence, a couple of neighbors coming from their jogging exercise told me that they saw a trail of blood from the highway to our subdivision road.

Still a few hours later, a police siren brought us all out of our houses. A man was found dead. His body was dumped in the dry creek where some neighbors would throw their garbage.

That night the local TV news reported that the man was a driver whose tricycle was stolen by men who also knifed him to death.

I thought to myself - that's why the dogs were howling, they smelled the blood of this man as he was brought bleeding to the dry creek.

And I was still awake when it happened as I was when the northern wife's father stopped retching and breathing next door.

Mercifully, dinner time will be quiet this week. May God rest the soul of the northern wife's father whom I just knew was nicknamed Dodoy. Amen.

Neighbors I

I have three immediate neighbors on the northern, eastern and the western fronts. I share the same street with the the eastern and western neighbors. The northern neighbors rent a house and lot foreclosed by a bank and in turn sublease a portion of the lot to their relatives who built a small makeshift house for six right next to the hollow block fence separating my property from the northern front.

I live a hermit's life in my "future private (read: exclusive) home for the aged (me in a few years' time!)" , meaning, I normally don't make a lot of noise as I do whatever I have to do everyday. As just like the proverbial owl I get to observe a lot of things about these neighbors.

At first, I have to contend with the western wife's habit of feeding her husband and children with a hefty serving of nagging for breakfast - wherewereyoulastnight?didyouvisitthemaidifired?whattimedidyougethome?and didn'titellyouidon'tlikeyourboyfriendcomingheretovisit?whydon'tyoutellyourboys
tohelparoundthehouse?doihavetodoeverythingaroundhere?idon'thavetwobodiesyouknow!

Then when the northern neighbors' relatives moved in, the naggings get served for dinner -
didn'titellyoutocomehomeearlytocookrice?whatdoyoudoinschoolanywayafterdismissal?
isthisallyourtake-home-pay?wheredidtherestofitgo?afterwedeductthetithehowmuchisleftofit?
whatcanwebuywiththatnowadays?stopstaringatusandcookriceNOW! Punctuated by the howls and cries of their adult mentally-challenged daughter who sounds like a munchkin (not the Dunkin Donuts kind, but the Wizard of Oz type.)

And seven years ago, the eastern neighbors occupied the house built for them by the young wife's mother who won the lot from mahjong. Giving birth successively to four baby girls, the eastern wife finally produced an heir on the fifth year and promptly had her fallopian tubes tied. After that, her inner nosy bitch came to the fore! Her mouth rapid-fired curses and nagging all day!

Kid1,getholdofyoursisters!wherearethey?Tang-ina!where'sthemaiditoldtobuylaundrysoap
fromthestore?Kid3,stoppingpesteringthedog!doyouwanttogetbitten?Kid2,getyourbabybrother's
feedingbottlefrom thebedroom!Pestengyawa!Mgapestengbata!didn'titellyoualltosleepafter
lunch?wholeftthesetoysonthefloor!Shit!

The western hubby is small bald man who is always the reason why his wife fires the maid. She claims he can't keep his hands off the household help. He says the only recipients of his caresses are his fighting cocks.

The northern hubby works for a construction firm as all-around worker. He's the one always puttering around the house; hammering a nail here and there. The wife's 80-year-old father stays with them. I think he has hyperacidity/ulcer. Each morning, the northern makeshift house comes alive with his retching.

The eastern hubby comes and goes on his motorcycle at different hours of the day and usually gets his fair share of the wife's curses and nagging. He and only son are the silent minority of the house.

Somehow I feel I have to shield myself from the noises the wives from all three fronts make everyday. And so in the morning when the western wife serves breakfast and sermon ala carte, I turn up the volume and play Freddie Aguilar's Estudyante Blues:

Ako ang nakikita, ako ang nasisisi Ako ang laging may kasalanan Paggising sa umaga, sermon ang almusal Bago pumasok sa eskwela Kapag nangangatwiran, ako’y pagagalitan Di ko alam ang gagawin Ako’y sunud-sunuran, ayaw man lang pakinggan Nasasaktan ang damdamin Ako’y walang kalayaan Sunod sa utos lamang Paggaling sa eskwela, diretso na ng bahay Wala naman akong aabutan Wala doon si nany, wala doon si tatay Katulong ang naghihintay Pagtawag ng barkada, sa kanila’y sumama Lagot na naman paglarga Kapag nangangatwiran, ako’y pagagalitan Di ko alam ...

At dinner time, when the northern makeshift house starts rocking with the wife's nagging and the mentally-challenged daughter's howls, I play Maria Callas and Dame Kiri te Kanawa's opera arias.

And all throughout the day especially when I'm at home on weekends, as the eastern wife's mouth starts spouting curses, I play nursery rhymes and Disney film soundtracks.