Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Are you a literature abuser? (a tongue-in-cheek self-test)

This self-test is attributed to Michael McGrorty, a librarian in the USA. At first, I thought it was for real, but realized later that it was just for fun.:)

Self-Test for Literature Abuse: How many of these apply to you?

  1. I have read fiction when I was depressed or to cheer myself up.
  2. I have gone on reading binges of an entire book or more in a day.
  3. I read rapidly, often "gulping" chapters.
  4. I sometimes read early in the morning or before work.
  5. I have hidden books in different places to sneak a chapter without being seen.
  6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to read novels.
  7. Sometimes I re-write film or television dialog as the characters speak.
  8. I often read alone.
  9. I have pretended to watch television while secretly reading.
  10. I keep books or magazines in the bathroom for a "quick nip."
  11. I have denied or "laughed off" criticism of my reading habit.
  12. Heavy reading has caused conflicts with my family or spouse.
  13. I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a book nearby.
  14. I seldom leave my house without a book or magazine.
  15. When travelling, I pack a large bag full of books.
  16. At a party, I will often slip off unnoticed to read.
  17. Reading has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.
  18. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I finished a novel.
  19. I become nervous, disoriented, or fearful when I must spend more than 15 minutes without reading matter.
  20. I have spent money meant for necessities on books instead.
  21. I have sold books to support my reading "habit."
  22. I have daydreamed about becoming a rich & famous writer, or "word-pusher."
  23. I have attempted to check out more library books than is permitted.
  24. Most of my friends are heavy fiction readers.
  25. I have sometimes passed out or woken groggy or "hung-over" after a night of heavy reading.
  26. I have suffered 'blackouts' or memory loss from a bout of reading.
  27. I have wept, become angry or irrational because of something I read.
  28. I have sometimes wished I did not read so much.
  29. Sometimes I think my fiction reading is out of control.
Laura A. Wallace added:
  1. When you shop for furniture, do you always look at bookshelves?
  2. Do you try to convince yourself that you don't really need other furniture, so that you can justify getting rid of it, so that you can buy more bookshelves?
  3. Do some of your bookshelves have books at least two rows deep?
  4. Do you bring a large cardboard box with you to library book sales?
  5. When you last moved (i.e., changed place of residence), did you have more than ten boxes of books? And did you refuse to consider getting rid of any books to reduce the weight and cost of your move?
Cos added:
  1. You don't buy a handbag unless you are sure that a book will fit in it.
  2. You don't go ANYWHERE without a book.
  3. You take a book to the choir practice just to sneak a look at it when the choir director is giving directions to the other voices.
  4. You are able to read and walk at the same time.
Daniel added:
  1. You refuse to buy jackets or coats unless they have at least one pocket big enough to hold a book. Well, at least I have an excuse. I need them to hold my notepads and pens so that people can talk to me and I to them.
  2. You read novels when you should be writing essays on the Classical lifestyle.
  3. You read your set texts for English during Classical Studies lectures. (Before anyone asks why I'm doing Classical Studies, it's not really my choice, it's the compulsory third course that all students must do, choosing from a list, and is usually dropped after 2 terms.)
  4. You go psychotic when anybody badmouths your favourite authors. (DON'T ASK)
  5. When given a book-token, your first thought is - "That's nowhere near enough!!"
  6. You can't find the books you want so you write the kind of books you want....
  7. You re-read the books you wrote to be the kind of books you want. because you couldn't find the books you wanted, and then want more of the same so you write some more books and then re-read them.
Gail Taylor added:
  1. You go to the toilet for the express purpose of a few minutes of quiet reading time.
  2. You catch a bus to work rather than drive because it gives you all that waiting and sitting time to read.
  3. You own several copies of the classics, not to mention your favourite books.
  4. You have more books loaned to friends and family than your friends and family OWN.
  5. Your friends never use the phrase: "Have you read...." to you because they know you have.
  6. You are currently reading about 4 books at once.
  7. You read the book BEFORE the movie comes out.
  8. You'll read anything new just because it's something you HAVEN'T read already.
  9. You answer all the literature questions on quiz shows before the host finishes the question.
  10. While reading this you have a book open on your desk so you can read it while waiting for the computer.
    (Sorry, I have to go, I'm just getting to the GOOD bit in my book!)
D. Brown added:
  1. You read in the bathtub or jacuzzi till the pages are soggy.
  2. You can walk a mile and a half up hill on the treadmill.

Gwen Hershiser added:
  1. Even though on crutches, recovering from surgery, you are unable to resist an invitation to visit a bookstore.
  2. You are unable to dine without a book propped up in front of your plate.
  3. You hide your current reading inside a hymnbook, in order to continue reading during the church service.
  4. You beg your child to let you read aloud the next chapter of "Harry Potter" at his bedtime.
If you answered 'yes' to five or more of these questions, you may be a literature abuser. Affirmative responses to ten or more indicates a serious reading problem --seek help now! Fifteen or more "yes" responses indicates a severe or chronic "readaholic" personality. Intervention is seldom effective at this stage.

No comments:

There was an error in this gadget